A thought bubbles to the surface:
across my consciousness
forcing me to stir.
“You look like an angel Mom,” I say, caught in the beauty of now.
Sandy wraps a stray wisp around the curling iron, rolls it close (but not too close) to Mom’s scalp, and waits for it to set.
“I will be one soon.” Mom replies.
My eyes meet Sandy’s.
It’s one of those moments of profound knowing that caregivers, hospice workers and those whom they serve share unexpectedly – one of those times in which there is no denying the depth of our connection with the divine.
Mom knows. And she’s letting us know she knows. While her brain and body struggle in the late stages of Alzheimer’s disease, her heart, soul and spirit are ready to be set free.
She rarely strings words together to form a sentence anymore other than when she sings (see below), or when there’s a break in the clouds as there has been with her reply. Mostly her speech is disjointed and random, a pick-up-sticks game of subjects, verbs and objects with no real meaning, except when the occasional tear in the increasingly thin veil between here and there allows something astonishing to slip through.
I’m not a religious person, not at all. But I recognize divinity when it touches down.
As Sandy curls Mom’s hair on a Friday afternoon in January, 2014, I imagine an invisible-to-us angel singing in her ear:
“We’ll all come out to meet you when you come. We’ll all come out to meet you when you come. With a hug and kiss we’ll greet you, yes, we’ll all come out to meet you when you come…”
My mother knows she is in the final stages of her journey. Maybe in some ways she’s lucky. Some of us are taken suddenly, snatched without warning from this world we think belongs to us but clearly doesn’t.
Death by ambush? Or a long drawn out siege? Either way, living fully is our duty, discovering joy is our privilege and life breaks our hearts whichever path we choose. Life is meant to be lived after all, joys and sorrows notwithstanding.
Mom still lives with gusto like this, this, this, and this. Maybe that’s why she’s not quite ready to go around the mountain. But she’s getting closer to being ready. When the time is right a whole host of angels will be there to “greet her when she comes.”
I’ll bet she’ll be wearing pink pajamas.
Special thanks to earthbound angels Sandy Card and Eric Manolson.
About a year ago, I was cracking up (not in a good way). I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both. Often. And intensely.
A bright red
In morning mist.
Our home and native land
A multicultural mosaic.
Within and without.
True patriot love in all thy sons
We do love you
With glowing hearts
We reach out.
North, south, east, west,
In worldwide community.
We see thee rise
And sometimes fall,
A country challenged.
In changing seasons.
The true north
Cold as ice
And twice as nice,
in summer than
Strong and free
As we wish.
From far and wide
We are unbound
by shining seas
or 50 states
in a melting pot.
A bright red
maple leaf waves
in blue skies.
We stand on guard
and lower it sometimes,
lest fear occupy
Too great a space
In our time.
For this earth.
god keep our land
Those within it.
And without it.
Safe, not sorry,
Glorious and free
and other isms that might
in prison us.
Be all we can be.
- O Canada – True North Strong & Free (terrycioni.net)
- FLASHBACK: Oh Canada, another birthday: This day in history – July 1, 1967 (sott.net)
- O Canada – Is it inclusive enough for you? (vancouversun.com)
- I drew a map of Canada (lostandfoundbooks.wordpress.com)
- Happy Birthday, Canada! (eemoxam.wordpress.com)
- 71 Reasons to Love Being Canadian Please
- O Canada: LOL rap version
- O Canada Live sung by Sarah McLachlan
Every Monday morning for the last eight weeks, eight to 10 of us gathered from nine to noon at the Bibliotheque North Hatley Library to write.
Expertly led Carolyn Rowell, who came to the workshops equipped with all kinds of interesting exercises, prompts, thoughts, and ideas to challenge us, we put pens to paper (or fingers to keyboard), then shared the fruits of our labour between ourselves.
I also shared some of my output here (e.g. The Lost and Found, See Me?, Life is Breathtaking, An Endless Prayer, Oh Mom!, Life Breaks My Heart and more in the “Writing”category in the drop down at the bottom left of the page if you’re on the site, if not then skiddadle on over there!)
It’s no secret that, besides this soon-to-be-amazing personal blog, I also run an already amazing (she writes none-too-modestly) website not surprisingly called AmazingWomenRock.com, which has, over the last five years, become my own fabulously random work of multimedia performance art as well as an online oasis of inspiration for women and men who love women (she shares even more modestly).
(Phew! Shorter sentences please Susan.)
ANYWAY, just for fun it (and because I don’t have the time or inclination right now to pen, or more accurately to type, something deep and meaningful, and also there may soon be enough deep and meaningful shit on this blog for us all to wade through or drown in, in which case, bring wine please, or not, in which case, again, bring wine; in fact, bring wine in any and all cases: a case of it should do nicely), I thought this list of 10 Cool Lists of 10 Cool Things to Love, drawn from the pages of AmazingWomenRock.com, would, you know, tide us over for the moment, before the flood, the onslaught, the TSUNAMI of blog posts I may, just MAY, one day get a round to writing/typing, which reminds me, the next one will be about that very thing – getting around to it. Or at least that’s the plan. At the moment. Until it changes. (<= Sentences like this one are good. Ones like the first one, not so much.)
In the meantime, whaddaya’ think of these?
- 10 Affirmations to Kickstart Yourself (See “around to it” above)
- 10 Rules For Amazing & Brilliant Women (See AmazingWomenRock.com)
- 10 Obscure Facts About Orgasm (See below the belt)
- 10 Lessons to Learn From A Dog’s Life (File under love, love, love)
- 10 Things Teachers Make (by Taylor Mali) (Awesome slam)
- 10 Top Tips for Living in Love (Useful)
- 10 Gems From Making My Facial Into a Fellini Movie (See “Susan is quirky.” Okay, Susan is a case. See above.)
- 10 Rules To Live By Every Single Day (Break some rules, but not these ones…)
- 10 Life Lessons I Learned From Being a Biker (Guest blog post from a biker babe friend)
- 10 Ways To Be A Good Wife (in 1954) (Whoa!)
Th th th th th that’s all for now folks!
- 10 Great Ways to Get Noticed as a Blogger (lesleycarter.wordpress.com)
- 10 tips to increase your blog post shares (b2bsocialmediaguide.com)
- My Top 10 List (booksandbagsandcoffee.wordpress.com)
- Top 10 Favorite Blogs (mokyandmarisa.wordpress.com)
- 10 Top Things Writers Love to Hear
- 10 Things I Loved About @TEDGlobal Day 1
- 10 Notes in an Ode to Joy
- Susan’s 10-Day Undiet
- The Lost and Found